Oh my God! I am so ready for this sandwich!
“
| — | My roommate, Elle |
I am…
watching Breaking Bad while Elle Miers makes hummus.
Neither of us are wearing pants.
#TheAmericanDream
Oh my God! My ass hurts! FIFTEEN MINUTES! And my ass hurts.
“
| — | My roommate, on the topic of a Jillian Michaels video |
#TheAwkwardMomentWhen:
You begin an exercise video as your roommate starts getting ready for work.
Halfway through the video she leaves, forgetting her work keys. You spot the keys and dash out of the apartment after her, work keys in hand. You run down the street, waving your arms and shouting as her car pulls out. Finally you catch her attention and the keys are delivered.
And then you realize…
You’re several blocks from home in just shorty shorts and a sports bra.
Two kids playing ball, an old woman walking her dog, old black men on a stoop, a fat guy driving by and several Mexicans in a truck are all gawking at you.
#CatCalling
#ThereGoesTheNeighborhod
I had Twinkies for breakfast this morning… and yesterday, too.
“
| — | My roommate, Joshua “Wildcat” Espey |
My roommate was THIS CLOSE to Dave Grohl at the Foo Fighters concert in St. Louis last week. Can you say jealous?
I woke up to not one but two piles of steaming poo on the carpet.
My roommate’s cat is upping his game.
1. I work at Taco Bell.
2. At the end of the night, certain foods are always thrown away.
3. Rice is one of these foods.
4. Rather than see it go to waste, I decided to take it home.
5. Thus, there is a large collection of Taco Bell rice (three bags full) in my fridge.
6. My roommate texted me this picture this morning with a quizzical note.
7. Rice Hoarder, hear me roar.
