I can’t focus on my porn with all of this real sex going on around me!
“
| — | “No Strings Attached” |
The thing about fucking in a Prius is that you don’t have to feel guilty about it. ‘Cause, you know, there’s no carbon footprint.
“
| — | “No Strings Attached” |
I’m going to get a tattoo on my left arm that says “Correlation is not causation” and one on my right arm that says “The plural of anecdote is not data”. That way I can more easily respond to people who try to talk to me about serious things. Also, probably one that says “Ghosts aren’t real; you were just tired, sillybilly”. That’s a more specific one.
“
| — | Larry Burkett |
I stopped at Tower for a pre-work drink. The three primary TVs had the Mizzou game on. The hidden TV in the corner that nobody was watching had the Cardinals game on. I think you can track the decline of the U.S. as a superpower by the rate at which football has eclipsed baseball as its national pastime.
“
| — | Larry Burkett |
No. Fuck Diabetes! I am afraid of Diabetes! Seriously. No. Just… fuck that. Fuck Diabetes. I don’t want to have anything to do with it.
“
| — |
a friend who (in hindsight) wishes to remain anonymous. Bitch, you don’t know nothin’ ‘bout my diabeetusss! |
I guess t9 isn’t so bad after all. When I text the word ‘puking’ it says I’m trying to text the word ‘Pujols.’
“
| — |
Aldo Bahahaha. |
