bullshitalacarte:
I creeped this photo from The Facebook.
What darling little children.  

bullshitalacarte:

Facebook creepin’
My friend, Aaron, has some sweet pics.  
(And he’s only 5’5 - WIN) 

bullshitalacarte:

I know it’s catty to stalk your boyfriend’s exes on Facebook
and then publicly bash them.
BUT WHAT DA FUCK!? 

#Shame

#Blasphemy

#IownAll9seasonsOnDVD 

I want to take a nap but I don’t want to waste my evening sleeping.
This would be avoidable with an alarm clock. Unfortunately, I have a bad track record of waking up to such things. 

Who wants to take a nap with me and then wake me up in two hours or so? 

#I’mNotJoking
#CreepyButSerious

bullshitalacarte:

What the eff is happening here!? 

Creepin’ on le boy.

This guy is a mutual friend’s friend on Facebook. 
I do not know him.
But damnit if I don’t want to have his babies.
#Creep
#Nerd 

To creep through Larry Burkett’s facebook and find witty things to quote on my tumblr. 

#OhGodI’mSuchACreep

laughingsquid:

Hello Lionel Richie Teapot and Cup Set, Is it Tea You’re Looking For?

This man is 49 and he just sent me a really bizarre message on OKcupid. Oy vey.

amberhill:

bullshitalacarte:

amberhill:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! She’s EIGHTEEN and you’re TWENTY-FIVE. Go ahead and tell me how that’s gonna work. Good call. Fuck Wesley Marion.

OMG. I know Wesley Marion. We had advanced ceramics together in high school. He tried creeping on me once. HARD. I saw him at a party and he got my number somehow and WOULD NOT STOP CALLING ME and trying to get me to go to his Pentecostal church and shit. It was weird. Did I mention that he rides a unicycle and that every time I see his family around town, they know who I am and act like Wesley and I are BFFs so by extension I’m BFFs with them? Strange. You have me intrigued, Amber Hill. ;

The first time I went over to his house, he had me meet his mother, grandmother and aunt (all of which live under the same roof. he just turned 25) I’d be terrified to run in to them in town seeing as I don’t remember what any of them look like but seeing as a I have gigantic tattoo on my chest, I’m kind of hard to forget. He’s a nice guy, don’t get me wrong. But he’s super shady. 

That is weird. Really weird, actually. 

And yes, he is very nice. He’s has never wronged me, per say. I have always just found him more than a little creepy. 

How did you get tangled up in this mess, anyway? I would have never EVER imagined you two as a duo. You are tres cool and he is… well… not. 

amberhill:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! She’s EIGHTEEN and you’re TWENTY-FIVE. Go ahead and tell me how that’s gonna work. Good call. Fuck Wesley Marion. 

OMG. I know Wesley Marion. We had advanced ceramics together in high school. He tried creeping on me once. HARD. I saw him at a party and he got my number somehow and WOULD NOT STOP CALLING ME and trying to get me to go to his Pentecostal church and shit. It was weird. Did I mention that he rides a unicycle and that every time I see his family around town, they know who I am and act like Wesley and I are BFFs so by extension I’m BFFs with them? Strange. 

You have me intrigued, Amber Hill.